


Talking to the Moon

by h0gwartships



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29720172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/h0gwartships/pseuds/h0gwartships
Summary: short story of the marauders through their school daysMostly focused around wolfstarI was planning to make it alot longer throughout the war and everything but i haven’t had enough time, maybe in the future i will add too it :)This is the first story i’ve written and i’ve already thought of ways i could improve; it’s not perfect but i hope you enjoy :)
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 2





	1. The bite-1965

**Author's Note:**

> notes:before you read i want to day it will probably take few chapters to get into

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> very short chapter-others are longer

The moon hung bright in the sky,creating a misty glow in Remus' bedroom. He squeezed his favourite teddy hard. The monster was howling outside it was coming closer.  
"MUMMY" he yelled, tears running down his face,no one came. He wanted his Mum to come and save him.  
It was too late it was in the house. He could hear it panting outside his bedroom door. It was in his room!  
The wolf towered over him,it opened it's jaw and bit down hard on the 5 year old's hip. Remus let out a blood curdling scream.  
"Lyall whats happening" he heard his mothers frantic voice approaching from down the hall way.  
He was struggling to stay awake now the pain was so overpowering,Remus hadn't even realised that the wolf had just left the room.  
The last thing he remembered from that night was being cradled by his mother, who also had tears running down her face.  
"stay with us you brave brave boy" she was sobbing "LYALL DO SOMETHING"....

little did young innocent Remus know this event would change his life forever.  
~~~~~~~~~  
Remus had felt horribly restless all day. He couldn't focus on even his most favourite things, which included listening to record with his Mum while his Dad did some important work.  
Though he was young Remus could tell something was wrong. His parent seemed anxious which wasn't so rare for his father but his mother rarely didn't have a smile on her face when her som was around.  
"mummy"  
"yes dear" she she picked him up and sat him next to her on there old, worn sofa.  
"i feel different"  
Hope's whole expression changed. Almost like pity. She sighed "Remus if i could do anything to help would, but i don't know what i can do. It's all my fault." she paused and wiped away the tears that had had started to form in her exhausted eyes. " Your going to have to be a brave boy tonight?"

Remus nodded. His parents has explained to him that tonight he was going to change and they couldn't be with him when he did. As 5 year olds always do he had plenty of questions.  
"I don't want to changed i want to be myself"  
With this hope pulled her son on to her lap and held him tight to her chest.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Remus had never felt this type of fear in his short life. A piercing agony shot up his spine. He felt his skull crack as it reshaped. He felt his bones grind together as they elongated.  
The 5 year old was no longer a small little boy but a mindless wolf.


	2. Hogwarts begins 1971

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus begins Hogwarts and meets the marauders :)

"Remus" he Fathers voice came from the living room of their cottage. Remus' father wasn't overly fond of his son, though Remus knew this was mainly because of his 'condition'.  
When Remus arrived in the living room which was full of old furniture and a very scruffy carpet. (The only thing the boy liked about his room was the shelf that was full of his and his mum's favourite records.His father wasn't at all fond of muggle music.)He saw his father holding something tightly in his hand.  
"This is for you" his father said passing him a letter.  
The letter was concealed in a rather old looking, yellowing envelope, which was sealed with red piece of wax emblazoned with.....THE HOGWARTS QUREST!  
"I thought you said i wouldn't be able to go to Hogwarts" Remus peered at his father hoping he wouldn't go into one of his moods. He was often funny about things Remus said, especially when it was referring to his condition.  
" well it's all sorted and you going,they'll explain how everything's going to work when you there i'm sure" he said this rather sourly. But Remus barely notice for years he thought he'd never get the chance to have a proper magical eduction. His prayers had been answered.

~~~~~~~

The morning of September 1st was full of anticipation, Remus couldn't sit still due to nerves and excitement, as his mother drove him to kings cross station. His father had decided to opt out of this journey.  
When they arrived they followed his father's instructions;they walked right through the barrier between platforms nine and ten which where both full of muggles.  
The atmosphere of platform 9 3/4 was thrilling. Remus was in his element. He gazed around in awe for a few seconds.  
"you'd better get going" his mother said reaching down to give him a hug,even though Remus was was almost as tall as his short mother.  
He felt a bit embarrassed at being hugged in-front of all these other kids his age.Obviously sensing his embarrassment his mother let go.

"I'll miss you" she said,now ushering him onto the crimson red train.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Once on the train Remus searched for an empty compartment or at least one with some friendly looking faces.  
This task seemed to be more challenging than one would thinking as every compartment was full excited students chatting and giggling away.

"oi" came a shout from behind him. A boy with extremely messy black hair and round glasses was poking his head out one of the compartments Remus had just passed, "you can sit in here if you like".

Remus could hardly refuse, it was unlikely he was going to find anywhere else to sit anyway.

Sitting with the messy haired boy was a blonde haired,pudgy,very child like looking boy.

"I'm James Potter" the the messy haired boy grinned,holding out his hand. Then he pointed to the pudgy boy "this is peter".

Peter held out his hand for Remus to shake,as they were doing so he felt he should introduce himself too.  
"I'm Remus lupin"  
"lupin aye, reckon i've heard that name before think my dad works with someone at the ministry with that name." James babbled.  
"yeah he's my dad" Remus half groaned this answer as he wished he didn't have anything to do with Lyall Lupin . He knew he was being harsh on his Dad but he didn't have to act so cold to Remus. Still Remus thought his dad could be worse.

The conversation about his father didn't carry on,  
which Remus was glad for,due to the fact that a boy with silky black hair that brushed his shoulders and ocean blue eyes walked into their compartment.

"do mind if i sit here?"

"sure" the three boys replied in unison  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The boys talked animatedly to each-over for the whole journey up to Scotland, about what house they thought they'd be in, their favourite quidditch team (Remus wasn't a fan of quidditch,to be honest he didn't know that much about it as his only link to the wizarding world was his father and they didn't speak much about it.)

The journey to the school had Remus feeling the happiest he'd felt in years. Probably since before the bite.


	3. 3 years later..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skips forward to third year.  
> Remus is starting to figure himself out

It had been 3 years since he had first got on the Hogwarts express and met the rest of marauders. It seemed to be fate that they had became friends, for one they were all put into the same house,they shared the same dorm and they all got on perfectly well.  
At first Remus hadn't been so keen on the other boys, he found them much to boisterous and energetic. So he tended to sneak off in their first year to hang out with Lilly Evans and her friends.

Soon enough a close bond seemed to form between him and the boys despite his attempts to avoid them. His last 2 years had been bliss, causing trouble with the marauders,studying with lily (The other boys weren't keen on studying,though James would study for hours if it meant spending time with lily.)

He had been afraid that when they found out about his 'furry little problem' (as James liked to call it ) they would unfriend him for sure but he was wrong.

Now he was once again on the Hogwarts express on the way to start his 3rd year of magical education.

"moony are listening to us" Sirius said as he elbowed Remus hard in the ribs, " we were saying now that we are allowed to go to Hogsmead our pranks can go to whole new level imagine the possibilities with all thoes Zonkos products."

Remus laughed "you say that basically every year"

"Remus" Lily Evans had just entered the compartment.

"hi Evans, coming to ask me to the first hogmeade weekend?" James grinned running his hand through his hair out of habit.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Remus do want to meet in the library as normal for one of our study sessions, Marlene and Mary will be there too."

Remus nodded , all ready knowing the others were going to make fun of him tirelessly once she had left. He thoroughly liked his and the girls study sessions as it gave him a break from the boisterous behaviour and rule breaking of the boys.

with that Lily left the compartment with a 'see you then'.

"what's your secret moony?" Sirius said with his signature grin.

"what do mean secret?" Remus could already tell what was coming next

"Sirius means how do you get all these girls to like you?" peter spoke for the first time in a while as he had been stuffing his face with snacks from the trolly witch.

"I bet you'll be the first to get a snog" James piped up, sounding whist full.

He would of never of said anything but Remus didn't like the idea of snogging much and hoped the topic didn't ever come up again. He found the whole matter rather embarrassing.

He blushed now feeling extremely embarrassed and groaned "and why would i want that?"

The other boys looked at him in complete shock. 

"of you want to snog someone moony, there must be someone,anyone."

of course there wasn't he hadn't ever even thought about being more than friends with a girl .Remus tried to think of anything he could to change the subject. He looked and the window and noticed the scenery around them was beginning to change becoming more hilly and isolated.

"we better get into our school robes we'll be back at school soon." he muttered

~~~~~~

As usual the start of term feast was a delight,Remus felt absolutely starving (as usual) and the 3 other marauders stared at him in awe as he helped himself to his 4th helping of treacle tart.

"honestly moony do you parents not feed you?" James laughed a smirk on his face

"yanno me" Remus replied taking a large gulp of pumpkin juice "i could eat for England."

They all laughed in unison. 

Dumbledore rose out of his seat at the teachers table ready to make his annual speech. He went to stand where the sorting had taken place only half am hour before.Remus had found it rather tedious.

"welcome all" he began, every head in the hall turned to face him, "what a pleasure it is to see all your faces again,now we may have some dark times ahead of us as some of you may have I presume heard,but we need to stick together. I want to say that there is nothing to worry about it this moment in time; all shall stay that way if we focus on the light instead of the dark."

The long bearded man resumed his seat at the teachers table.

"what does he mean dark times" Remus questioned. He really had no clue that anything remotely bad was going on in the wizarding world and couldn't help feeling a little hurt that his father hadn't told him or his friends in there letters.  
The other marauders looked slightly shocked and peered at each-over anxiously.

James was the first to speak, " we'll tell you back in our dorm"


	4. third year:term 1-1974

After the feast they went straight back to the dorm that they shared; they sat themselves down on the red rug that lie on the floor in the middle of the circular room.  
"so" Remus said he was extremely curious about the speech Dumbledoor had given now, "whats all this stuff about 'dark times'" 

James was the one that replied "Well my Father said it's nothing to worry about at the moment but there has been a serge in dark magic,mostly being used on muggle borns and wizards with muggle relatives."

He then gave a nervous glance at Sirius. Remus had long ago learnt that The noble family of Black specialised in dark magic and also had hatred for anything to do with muggles . Sirius however tried to be as different as he could from his 'family' and didn't let anything they did get in his way.

Seeing James look at him Sirius evidently tried to change the subject to something more cheery.

"who's up for a game of snap?"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first 3 weeks of term went a blur of studying with lily, homework, classes, pranks with the marauders, playing chess with Peter and so much more.  
Remus would be feeling exhausted if it weren't for the the up coming moon which made him feel extremely restless. He had escaped for a moment by himself and was sitting in his cosy four poster bed trying to focus on his potion assignment.

He heard 3 pairs of footsteps approaching the dorm door. Sirius, James and Peter burst into the room,looking slightly nervous about something.

"Moony we have an idea" Sirius exclaimed, sitting down on the end on Remus' bed.

Remus sighed this couldn't be could "what?"

James spoke this time "Well we've came up with an idea to umm help you" he paused to eye Remus' face for his reaction, "to help you with you furry little problem"

Sirius was practically jumping up and down "We were doing some research and other wolfs don't usually hurt themselves and they are only a danger to humans. So we were thinking what if we became animaigi then we could stop you from hurting yourself,so what do you think?"

He burst out this information out so quickly Remus barely had time to process it. No he couldn't let them. It was simply to dangerous. But it seemed very appealing. He also knew he friends well enough now to know once they came up with an idea they would follow it through until they had achieved it.

"you going to do it whatever my answer is aren't you?"

The three other boys stared awkwardly at him for a moment and exchanged tentative looks. Sirius and James began to nod. Remus turned his attention to Peter who looked a little unsure. James kicked him hard in the shin so that he began to nod as well although his eyes were now watering slightly.

In the future Remus would regret not stopping this, he would hate himself for letting his own selfish thoughts get in the way. Why would he ever let his friend become animaigi with out telling anyone? Why? The thoughts of actually having company on the full moon seemed so appealing he couldn't resist.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Moony come over here" Peter called from across the room.

Remus picked up his copy of 'fantastic beasts and where to find them' and tucked into his bag then made his way over to the common room notice board which was surrounded by other excitable 3rd years.Pinned to the board was a note which read:

Hogsmeade weekend 3rd November for third years and above. All with permission are welcome.

"isn't it great" Sirius started "it's on my birthday, how lucky is that!"

"maybe we could invite a few people to the three broomsticks for a butter beer" James responded 

Sirius loved his birthday. He wouldn't ever let something ruin it. If you could upset him on his birthday you were clearly capable of evil things.

Remus felt he should something as everyone else were looking at him expectantly"we'll make your 14th the best birthday you've ever had."

" pfft that will be hard considering the last 2 birthdays i've had. Do you remember all the exploding toilets last year?"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"okay so we need to be at the 3 broomsticks by 12 ok?"  
"yes we know James, don't worry we won't be late for my fans" Sirius chuckled  
"sorry i just wanna make sure everything goes to plan.  
The 4 marauders were walking down the long winding path that led to hogsmeade. Remus could practically feel the excitement radiating off the two black haired boys, who were bounding off ahead of him and Peter.  
"honestly" Peter sighed "how do we put up with them"  
Remus let out a forced chuckle to be polite though Peters attempt to be even the slightest bit funny had failed.

They arrived at the three broomsticks just in time and he had to admit he was reasonably jealous that this was how Sirius got to spend his birthday and not him.

They spent their afternoon listening to the wizard band that was playing live, on the wooden stage at the front of the bar. Drinking butter beers which had mostly been brought for them by members of 'the Sirius Black fan club' (as James always called it to annoying every other person in the world) which had turned up to spend the afternoon in the pub- for Sirius' sake. 

A wide majority of this so called fan club was made up of different girls who all went into fits of giggles if Sirius so much as breathed.

Remus supposed he was rather handsome.

At these thought he looked around the now crowded pub to where Sirius had got too,partly to make sure he wasn't causing to much trouble.

When he finally spotted the blued eyed boy, he saw that he was sitting next to a curly haired, freckled, huffelpuff girl. They were sitting very close in a small booth in the corner of the bar, appearing to be having a very deep conversation.

Then without warning the girl leaned forward and started to kiss Sirius. It wasn't a quick peck on the lips either, they were full on snogging.

Remus felt a flip in the pit of his stomach and felt the sudden urge to pull them apart. 

No he thought to himself that wasn't fair to think. No one else seemed to think anything of it. Remus looked away as the pair were still kissing and he couldn't bare to look.

I wish i could kiss Sirius he thought to himself. oh my God Remus why did you just think that. You don't fancy Sirius Black? Merlin you do fancy him.

Remus ran out the pub he needed some fresh air. He had never thought about crushes before mostly due to the fact that he wasn't that fond of girls (apart from Lily and her friends of course) .

Then it all became clear to him. He didn't like girls. He was gay. oh my god it all made sense now. It was like something he had known his whole life had just clicked into place. That's why he couldn't take his eyes off a particularly handsome boy when he walked past them. Thats why the idea of him self kissing a girl made him feel quite queasy.

But why did he have to fancy Sirius? Why not someone else? Anyone else? what had he got himself into?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Remus had decided to go back to gryfindor tower instead of facing the pub and what may be going on inside.  
As expected when he arrived in the common room it was practically empty apart from two 7th year girls,who were fawning over a poster that seemed to be of some muggle celebrity.

He had just sat down on the rug next to the fire so that he could warm up,when-

"Moony what did you wondering off for?" James yelled across the common room as he climbed from the portrait hole the fat lady guarded.

He was closely followed by Sirius with his sleek black hair,his dazzling blue eyes, his toned body and Peter, of course.

"sorry just needed a bit of a break that's all"

The boys came over to him on the rug.

"i had a really good time thanks for suggesting it, i wish we could go to hogsmeade when ever we wanted," Sirius said grinning.

" so Sirius" James started, sounding sly, "how was it?"

"was what?" Sirius smirked, he clearly knew what James was on about. So did Remus. Oh no how was he going to react when they started to talk about the curly haired huffelpuff.

"snogging"

Sirius laughed "good, really good actually, i wasn't expecting it but yeah good"

" so the girl" Peter added, " is she your girlfriend?"

Remus felt his insides churn. As unfair as it sounded he didn't want Sirius to have a girlfriend, in honesty all he wanted in that moment of time is to rip his ears off. 

"well not exactly, but i'm taking to her to the next hogmeade weekend"

" and i thought Moony was the ladies' man" chuckled James " sorry Moony but i'm afraid Sirius will have to take that title."

Sirius elbowed James playfully in the ribs. James punched him gently on the arm and they began to wrestle,laughing. Remus never did such things with the marauders, he always felt to awkward.The most physical contact he'd have would probably be putting his hand on one of the others shoulder to comfort them.


	5. Christmas and the moon 1974

"no thats not good enough"Sirius remarked, they were walking to potions,talking about their annual marauders' Christmas prank, "we need something new."  
"We could bewitch the armour to follow the slytherins, while singing Christmas carols," Remus suggested. He'd been pondering this idea for a while(when he was fantasising what it would be like to kiss Sirius.)

He had been trying to avoid Sirius, he thought maybe that would make his feelings die down. He was wrong. More than ever he found him staring at Sirius, thinking of Sirius, wanting Sirius.

And oh god one day Sirius caught staring avidly. Remus winced at the memory, it was so embarrassing. The had been sitting in a cosy corner of the common room and he had found himself mindlessly staring at his crush.

Sirius was looking over some DADA notes ( for a change) so he didn't notice at first but when he looked up ,he saw. He waved his hand in-front of Remus' face ,which made him snap back to reality. 

Remus could still remember the heat in his cheeks as he started to blush violently, which made Sirius give him a mischievous smirk- Remus thought how odd this was for days afterwards, did Sirius know how he felt?

He had also noticed slight changes in Sirius behaviour since then, they'd be talking about girls and Sirius would wink at him. Then laugh to make it out as a joke. They would be sitting next to each over and Sirius would make sure there thighs were touching-which alway gave Remus butterflies.

He'd probably been imagining it though. After all Sirius had recently started to officially go out with the curly haired huffelpuff girl- Amanda.

It was clear to say Remus despised her.

"how do you always come up with the best ideas Moony?" Sirius exclaimed.He was slightly confused for a second as he had let his thoughts trail off. suddenly he became aware that Sirius was hugging him. This was another new occurrence, none of the boys ever hugged but now Sirius hugged him ,at least every day.

no Remus pull yourself together, your making a big deal out of nothing. He has a girlfriend. He's happy. You want him to be happy don't you?

"honestly moony your amazing" Sirius said letting go of Remus.

"how will we do it?" Peter questioned.

Remus already had an answer for this, " well for them to follow the slytherins , i thought a simple sticking charm would do the trick. The singing part will need a lot of research."

They were now standing out side the door of the potions class, which was located in the dark stone dungeon.

"This is going to be great"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The prank went better than ever expected. Slytherins were desperately trying to escape the armour, while the sound of 'jingle bells' and 'oh come all ye faithful' filled the hallways.

All four of the marauders spent there last day in fits of laughter. There good moods weren't even ruined when they were told they'd have a weeks detention when the returned to school.

They were now sitting in there usual compartment discussing the looks on a group of slytherin girls faces when the armour had fell right on top of them.

"Sirius" Amanda entered there compartment.

"yes" Sirius grunted in reply. That was the weird thing about their 'relationship' Sirius didn't actually seem to like Amanda very much.

She frowned " what's up?"

"nothing"

"why are you being like that then?"

" being like what?"

She rolled her eyes,clearly getting impatient. " i'm sorry but this isn't going to work out, you act like you don't want to talk to be half the time and when i point it out you act like you have no clue what i'm on about."

James,Peter and Remus (who was secretly happy that this was happening, which made him feel bad) looked at the black haired boy, trying to gauge a reaction.

But Sirius' face stayed in a completely neutral expression "ok" 

"ok? ok is that all you want to say" Amanda yelled before storming out the compartment.

"you alright mate" James said in a soft comforting tone.

To Remus' surprise, the corners of the boys mouth began to twitch and broad grin spread across Sirius' face before he chuckled and said, " been waiting to end it with her, gets on my nerves."

All four of the marauders laughed.

"It's not like you'll have trouble finding a girl, unlike me" Peter said solemnly.

"Your chances are better than mine Pete, i've got a huge scar across my face," Remus stated, in an attempt to comfort his friend.

He didn't know if it was his imagination or maybe wishful thinking, but Remus swore he saw Sirius' eyes flicker.

Then Sirius open his mouth and said the words that would replay in Remus' mind until he returned to school, " anyone would be lucky to have you Moony."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He lay awake on Christmas eve, his mind full. Sirius probably didn't mean anything by it. He was probably just trying to make him feel better. But after all, it did no harm to hope.

He woke up on Christmas morning to find all three of his friends had sent letters with gifts.  
From James a assortment of Zonkos products and a letter which read:

Merry Christmas Moony,

I hope you like your present ,have a good Christmas.

see you soon,

James

From Peter 100 chocolate frogs and a short scribble which read:

Merry Christmas

Pete

And then from Sirius an huge bag of all Remus' favourite honey dukes sweets and the longest letter of all:

Dear Moony,

I hope you like you sweets, don't eat them all at once i know what your like.

I hate being at home, i've already been told 100 times since i've arrived home that 'i am not successfully for filling my duty'.

Can't wait to get back to Hogwarts and see you.

see you soon and Merry Christmas.

Sirius

Remus hated the thought that Sirius was stuck with his rotten family while he was stuffing his face with sweets. He would never be able to cope with all those rules and the punishments - once before Sirius had shown him one of the scars that he bore due to Walpurga Black's idea of 'correcting behaviour'.

He wished he could go and save Sirius.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was their first night back in their cosy dorm room, the other 3 marauders were asleep or so Remus thought. He himself couldn't sleep do to the fact that the full moon had been yesterday; his aches and pains were preventing him from finding a comfortable position.

A muffled sob came from the bed opposite his own- Sirius' . He knew if he was crying Sirius would want to be left alone or else he would be embarrassed. But Remus knew better than anyone bottling up your feelings makes it ten times worse and crying alone is never a good idea.

He clambered out of his four poster bed. He hadn't realised how twisted his bedsheets had became from readjusting himself so often.

He made his way across the dorm making sure to be quiet as to not wake up the 2 sleeping marauders.

He stood for a second, holding his breath, before drawing the curtains surrounding the other boys bed and climbing in. He redrew the curtains. 

"what are you doing here" Sirius mumbled.

He eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks looked a blotchy red. However he was still gorgeous.

"checking up on you"

"why?"

"cause i'm your friend, idiot. so whats up?"

"don't want to talk about it" he sounded like a young child after having a tantrum. 

" come on it will make you feel better"

They two boys were sitting opposite each over and for the first time Sirius looked up at Remus. Remus felt a jolt near his naval. No this wasn't the time. He needed to comfort Sirius.

"well it's just my family," Sirius started " it's the fact that i know i'm going to have to go back to them in the summer. I don't want to. They keep going to secret meetings and i'm sure it's something bad but there's nothing i can do about it. I feel so guilty. Then there's my brother he's becoming more like them by the day-he was the only one i had left in that horrid place. Now i have no one."

The words came tumbling out of the black haired boy's mouth like a waterfall. 

Remus wanted cradle him in his arms but fought the urge to.

Fresh tears started to pour from Sirius' ocean blue eyes, as he tried to hide his face in a pillow.

"sorry" he said shakily.

"what? no. why are you sorry? It's good to let it all out" Remus comforted, he shifted closer to the boy opposite him and placed his hand on Sirius shaking shoulder.

"i wish i was as brave as you."

"what do you mean?"

"you would know how to deal with all this. your the bravest person i know, for merlin sake your body transforms every month and you come back from it with massive injuries; you brush it off like it's nothing.I could never-"

"Sirius" Remus started, but he was cut off.

"Do you want to know a secret?"

"mhm"

"over the holidays when i felt i needed someone to talk to, i'd look out my window and talk to the moon," Sirius was blushing violently now, "because it reminded me of you and you always have the best advice. I knew you might also be looking at the same moon at the same time as me, and it sounds silly but it helped me, i felt like you where there with me."

Remus felt so touched by this he couldn't help himself, he sprang forwards and wrapped Sirius in a tight hug. Sirius was a lot smaller than Remus, who tall and lanky,he felt as if he was protecting him.

"thanks moony for listening"

"Any time"


	6. third year: term two- 1975

They didn't talk about the nights before's,when the woke up the next morning, events but little did they know how much it would change their relationship.

Just as it had in the 1st term, time seemed to fly by. Before they knew it was fast approaching march and Remus' birthday.

"so moony what shall we do for you birthday?" James said, whilst tucking into a treacle tart he had stolen from the kitchen.

"we don't have to anything." in all honesty, he didn't want a big celebration.

Sirius look appalled at the idea, "of course we have to do something for our moony, we won't take no for an answer."

"no big parties ok?" Remus said, giving Sirius a stern look.

"whatever you wish"

"Remus" came a voice behind him, he spun around to see a red haired girl, Lily.

"hiya lily" James practically shouted.

lily rolled her eyes.

"Remus can ask you a favour?"

"umm sure"

"you how your really good at braids"

Oh god he thought to himself, he didn't want the other boys hearing this. This is going to be embarrassing. He for obvious reasons had never told the other marauders that he used to sit around for hours on end braiding other girls hair.

"yep" he replied shyly. He could feel the other boys eyes looking at him. How was he going to live this down.

"well i was wondering if you could braid my hair,it's one of my friends birthday's you see and we are going on a picnic and i want to look like i've made an effort."

"umm sure" he sat on the velvet red sofa and gestured to a spot in-front of him on the floor. lily sat in-front of him; he began to braid her fiery hair.

For a while all three of the other boys watched but they soon seemed to get bored.

"i think i'm going to do some quidditch practice, Sirius, Pete you coming?"

Peter nodded but Sirius shook his head, "no you two go, not in the mood for quidditch."

Peter and James both said goodbye before climbing out of the portrait hole.

Remus had almost finished with lily's hair now,he poked a few stray strand into the braid and it was done. He admired his work, he had to admit it did look very good.

"thank you so much" lily said, admiring her hair in a small compact mirror. She ran off to show her friends.

At first Remus didn't dare look at Sirius as he knew he was about to be relentlessly teased.

When he did finally looks the other boy, he wasn't laughing he was staring at Remus in awe.

Remus raised an eyebrow, "what?"

"how are you so good at everything?"

"it's easy really"

"can you do my hair?"

Remus tried not to show to much excitement and getting to actually touch Sirius' hair, so he just nodded.

The black haired boy came and sat were lily had been sitting only minutes before. He's back was pressed against Remus' long legs.

He started to separate the silky smooth hair in to sections, which he then weaved together. He and Sirius did not talk until he had finished.

"done" he exclaimed as he held out the small compartment mirror to show Sirius his work.

"i look good" Sirius smirked

"yeah you do" Remus instantly blushed, why had he said that? Why did he keep embarrassing himself?

Was it his imagination or was Sirius blushing too?

"thank you moony"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"moony wake up" Sirius yelled down remus' ear.

"shuddup it's still dark outside."

"that's the whole point you wanker, it's for your birthday surprise."

Remus grunted a response and sat up in his bed. He hadn't fully been aware that there were three boys surrounding his bed and he suddenly became very aware that he was only wearing a skimpy vest and boxers, which revealed a few of his more severe scars. He was very glad indeed that there was a duvet to cover himself.

"get dressed and then we'll leave"

"where are we going?"

"you'll see"

Remus pulled on a rather large grey sweater and a pair of muggle jeans onto his lanky frame.

The 3 other marauders lead him out of the castle,hidden under James' invisibility cloak and using their new map that they had worked tirelessly on,into the grounds surrounding it. 

"i'm not going in the forbidden forest" he said warningly, he knew what his friends were like.

"no don't worry we aren't that mad," James responded, laughing.

They were now heading to the broom shed. Quidditch? They know i hate flying. 

clearly seeing the confused look on his face ,Sirius chuckled, "Don't worry, we are only using these to get to our final destination".

with that ,all four boys clambered onto there broomsticks and began to fly. James was zooming off in front closely followed by Peter and to Remus' surprise Sirius stuck by his own side the whole time.

"we are landing here" Sirius said, gesturing to the roof of one of the schools towers, on which Peter and James were already sittings.

Once they were all sitting on the slated roof, James pulled out a huge bag of honeyduke's sweets, for them to share.

"Now moony for the grande finale" Sirius said dramatically, pulling out 10 different objects from the bag he had been lugging along with them, "i present to you, fireworks!"

They were all mad, they'd wake up the whole castle. 

"The sound, it will wake everyone up."

"not if i've done my part properly," James piped up, "i did some charms on them, they won't make a sound."

This relived Remus slightly.

The fireworks were amazing. So many colours,shapes,sizes. As they watched they tucked into the sweets. For hours after the display had ended , they talked and laughed and played various games.  
It was truly one of the best times he had ever had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He lie in bed awake,the past 3 weeks had been brilliant, why did something have come along and ruin it?

Remus' bad mood had began when he had seen that day's headline:

werewolf attack, kills 20 

why did he have to feel so guilty. It wasn't his fault. He hadn't attacked anyone.

'but you're like them aren't you' a horrible voice said, in the back of his mind.

Why couldn't he be a normal wizard? Why couldn't people understand him? Why wasn't there anyone he could talk to? someone who understood.

He felt warm,salty tears begin to run down his face.

"moony" a quiet voice came, Sirius climbed into Remus' bed.

"go away" Remus grunted, he buried his head in his pillow, not wanting his crush to see him cry. 

"don't be so rude" Sirius chuckled, nudging him in the arm, "you helped me when i was sad, now it's my turn to help you."

"i don't want to talk about it"

"i know and i understand but it might help"

"i'm sorry, i'm not like you, i can't just let all my feelings pour out." 

He didn't know why but this made him cry even more. why wouldn't Sirius just leave him alone to be miserable alone?

Remus laid back down and got in to his usual sleeping position, laying on his side.He was trying to signal that he wanted to be left alone.

Sirius hesitated for a second, then laid himself down next to Remus, but on his back. Remus was thankful for this otherwise he may not been able to control his actions and kissed him.

"your not getting rid of me that easily"

"hmm"

"not talking about it"

"ok then"

"leave me alone"

"no,i'm not letting you stay all miserable."

At this Sirius rolled over to face Remus. Remus felt a churning sensation in his stomach, Sirius had never been like this with James and they were the bestest of friends.

"please just leave me alone" This wasn't exactly what he wanted but he wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to control himself. He called feel Sirius' warm breathe on his face. He didn't dare make eye contact. 

"no"

Remus looked up at Sirius for the first time, they were staring directly into each-overs eyes now.

He felt Sirius' arm rap around him, pulling him into a tight hug, which Remus (after a minute or so) returned.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remus woke up, thankfully, early that morning. To his surprise the black haired boy was still clinging to him, head buried in Remus' chest.

Rather reluctantly Remus shook him awake, it would be embarrassing for the both of them if Peter and James saw them in this state.

"let me sleep" Sirius grunted, into remus chest.

"no you have to get up"

Sirius looked up at Remus and his eyes widened slightly.

"i'm so sorry,i never meant to fall asleep here" Sirius was blushing, actually blushing!

"no it's fine i slept really well" it was the truth, it was so calming with Sirius' warm weight pressed against him.

Sirius replied, not quite meeting Remus' eye "that was one of the best night's sleep i've ever had."

"me too" 

Both boys were now extremely red in the face.


	7. summer 1975

"moony are you awake?" Remus heard a distant voice.

Last night had been a bad full moon,he had a deep gash that ran from his should blade to his hip. His head was pounding and his eyelids felt weighted down.

"we've brought you chocolate, it will make you feel better"

Remus fractioned his eyes open, the three other marauders were surrounding his bed,which was position by a window,in the bleak medical wing.

Sirius placed two bars of honeydukes' finest onto the greying duvet.

"Thanks" Remus croaked, his throat felt raw. He'd probably spent the whole night howling at the stupid moon.

"how was it?" Sirius asked, looking at Remus tentatively.

"normal, scratched myself up a bit, but that's normal"

"we wish we could help mate" James said, a solemn expression on his face.

"we are trying to figure out the animagus stuff. Me, James and Pete just need to do a bit more research."

Remus had forgotten about that, he wasn't so sure how he felt about it. Yes the idea of no more scars did appeal to him. But what if he hurt one of them?

The chocolate that he was chewing suddenly turned into an unpleasant, acidic sourness. What if he killed one of them?

"i can't let you do this? It's so dangerous. The animagus stuff is your choice; i can't let you join me on the full moons, i could kill one of you"

"whatever you say, anything for our moony" Sirius grinned. Before giving James and Peter meaningful looks.

"i'm serious" Remus frowned.

"no i'm Sirius"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

End of year exams were fast approaching. Remus found that he was spending most of his time studying in the library with Lily.

"ugh i hate astrology" Lily whined.

"hmm?" Remus had zoned out; without even realising he had drawn dozens of little hearts surrounding Sirius' name. He quickly screwed up the piece of parchment and pocketed it, hoping lily wouldn't notice, so he could dispose of it later.

"what was that?"

Remus felt blood rushing to his cheeks, "what was what?"

"that piece of parchment"

"nothing, just a piece of rubbish"

Lily smirked "accio parchment"

The screwed up parchment, flew right out of Remus' pocket and into lily's hand.

"please don't" Remus gabbled.

Lily unfolded the paper and her emerald green eyes widened.

"Remus do yo-"

"it's not what it looks like"

"you fancy Sirius!"

"don't tell anyone"

"what kind of friend would i be if i did?"

They both laughed. It was fine, lily could be trusted. They spent hours after that sitting and chatting, mainly about Remus' feelings for Sirius.

It felt so good to be able to talk freely, Lily was the only person to know all his secrets, he didn't have to watch what he said. He felt free.

"Moony, Evans!" James bellowed ,from the other side of the library.

This earned a menacing look from madam Pince.

"thought i'd find you two here"

"why are you here your never in the libary, though your big head could use some useful information"

"right you are Evans" James said, she could attempt to murder him and he'd still look at her as if she was the most precious thing in the world, "Moony we need you back in our dorm, important marauder stuff"

"by marauder stuff you mean another one of your stupid pranks" Lily rolled her eyes, "see you tomorrow Remus."

"yeah see you"

Once him and James had arrived back in their dorm, where Peter and Sirius were waiting expectantly, Remus let his curiosity get the better of him.

"so what all this about?"

"moony" Sirius said a mock expression of concern on his face, "are you all right? i thought you had a good memory"

"it's our end of year prank" Peter said quickly, as if to get it over and done with.

"we've already decided on it though?"

"yes but we still need to add the final touches" James added.

They were planning to bewitch the every mirror and reflective surface, in the castle to reflect no reflection because as Sirius had said 'a whole castle of people who are convinced they are invisible (even if it was only a few seconds before they figured out they weren't)would be hilarious'.

The prank went better than expected, best of all they hadn't been given any sort of punishment-which was a rare phenomenon when it came to the marauders.

Remus had just arrived back at the worn down cottage his family lived in, unlike most students who were excited for the 2 month holiday, Remus' spirits were low.

Once again Sirius was back with his abusive family, who did horrible things to him and attended strange meetings.

Remus had packed for Sirius so that he didn't have to think about going back to his family until the very last second.

Remus hadn't realised until that moment but he was willing to do anything, if it made the black haired boy happy.

Remus spent the first month of summer reading, catching up with homework and of course listening to records with his mum.

His dad, on the other hand was being as distant as ever. Remus had to constantly remind him self that whatever he was going through Sirius was going through ten times worse.

Sirius' words from that one night when Remus had climbed into his bed to comfort him, stuck in Remus' mind. Every night Remus would look out the smeared window at the moon and talk, just talk. He hoped that Sirius was on the other side talking to, maybe by some miracle Sirius would feel Remus' presence.

He was surprised one day when a tawny owl came  
tapping at his bedroom window.

dear moony,

i hope you're having a good summer

Mum said your welcome to stay here for the last few weeks, if your parents will let you.

I've invited Sirius as well ,but you know what his families like they probably won't let him, and Peter.

If you are allowed my mum will come to collect you on Wednesday.

James

Remus has never been to James'. of course he wanted to, he went to ask his mum straight away. There was no point bothering his dad, he wouldn't care where Remus spent his summer.

As soon as he got his answer he replied to James.

dear James,

Yes i would love to, it's perfectly fine with my parents.

moony

He also decided to write a letter to Sirius, as he had not heard from him in a while and he was beginning to get worried. 

It was always risky writing to Sirius; you never knew if his parents would get hold of the letter before himself. The marauders being the marauders had their methods of 'safe letter sending' so Remus had no need to worry.

dear Sirius,

i hope you are doing ok. I haven't heard from you in a while and thought i should check in on you.

I hope you parents aren't being to horrible, i hate that you have to stay there with them.

You are so brave, i would never be able to live with them.

Every night i look at the moon and hope you are okay because you are my best friend and i don't want anything bad to happen to you.

If you need any help, i am going to be at James' from Wednesday.

See you very soon ,

Moony

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Remus was very aware of how cheesy this letter sounded but summer at the Potter's took his mind off it.

Their house was amazing, lavishly decorated with red furnishings and there was a huge garden with it's very own quidditch hoops (which James was obsessed with.)

Euphemia welcomed Remus like a son, checking he'd eaten enough, that he didn't stay in the sun too long etc.

Spending so much time in then Potter's garden had bleached Remus' hair a shade lighter and given him a slight tan.

Remus had also noticed that his jaw had broadened slightly. Most noticeable of all he had shot up at least 4 inches, this only made his long more lanky.

Soon September the first had came and Remus was ready to begin his fourth year at Hogwarts.

Him and James made their way to their usual compartment on the scarlet train. Sirius was waiting there and as soon as he saw them a huge grin spread across his face.

He looked as handsome as ever, even more so than he had last year. His jaw too had widened and although he was still a lot shorter than Remus, he had grown taller too.

Remus had to fight to not stare for too long. He sat down opposite Sirius and smiled back.

They were soon joined by Peter who looked like a 2nd year compared to the rest of them,he had barely changed.

As usual they had a great time on the journey and once again the talk turned to girls and crushes.

"moony who do you fancy?" Sirius asked.

All three boys were looking at him with raised eyebrows.

"no one" Remus replied, trying to avoid catching Sirius' eye.

"what about lily?" peter said, "you always with her"

"she's just a friend"

"and my future wife" James grinned, there was no hint of a joke in his voice.

"come on moony everyone likes someone" Sirius said, kicking Remus in the shin.

"well i don't, who do you fancy them Sirius?" Remus said, raising an eyebrow.

Remus had never seen Sirius turn so red.

"no one" he muttered.

James laughed, "Sirius your not fooling anyone mate"

"well i don't have to say do i?" Sirius snapped.

"sorry mate we were just having a laugh"

"it's not like we're gonna make fun of you, i'm sure whatever girl you like isn't that embarrassing" peter said, it wasn't much of a help.

"i don't want to talk about it" Sirius moaned,resting his head on the window.

remus let out a small chuckle, "now you know how i always feel"

It was strange, Sirius seemed to give Remus a look. It looked, as if the boy was searching for something.

Remus acknowledged this look by raising and eyebrows, which made Sirius look away shyly.


	8. 1975 two first kisses

As usual, as soon as they arrived at Hogsmeade station they took the horseless carriages up to the school.

Once in the great hall, they waiting for the sorting to commence. Everything was as it usually was, apart from the sorting hat's strange song.

It was normal for the sorting hat to sing a song about the 4 houses every year, but never anything else. That was why there were so many uncertain whispers and it finished this years song.

dark times ahead of us as you shall see,  
we will all have to fight if we are to be free,  
pull together as friends and foes,  
before the chance goes,  
for light is present in the dark,  
and those who seek it will travel far.

Remus assumed it must be on about the war. He hadn't been aware of how serious the situation had become, until a few weeks ago when he father got an extremely urgent call from the ministry. He had to go and see to 10 injured muggles who had been tortured by 'death eaters', whatever they were.

~~~~

"My parents are involved with all that 'dark' shit" Sirius said very suddenly, once they were back in there dorm room, "i hate that i have anything to do with them, what's wrong with muggle borns i ask?"

Peter, Remus and James couldn't find any response to this, so they just continued to unpack their trunks.

Remus finished first and sat himself down on his bed, "it feels great to be back"

"yeah it does" Sirius replied.

"the first hogsmeade visit is only 2 weeks away as well" peter joined in.

"reckon Evans will agree to go with me this year?"

"James your wasting your time, she doesn't like you" Sirius laughed.

"can only but dream" James responded, unfazed, "you planning to take anyone Sirius?"

"i've already had 10 different girls ask me" Sirius sat himself next to Remus, on his bed, "i said no to all of them"

"why?" Peter said, sounding genuinely confused, "most of us aren't as lucky to have girls practically faint at the sight of us and there you are rejecting every single one."

"i don't like any of them"

"waiting for someone special to ask you then?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow. He wanted so badly to know who Sirius fancied, though it would pain him extensively.

"maybe" Sirius was looking down at his feet, "i know they'll never like me back though"

Sirius looked sad at this and Remus couldn't help but blurt out, "which girl wouldn't want to go with you?"

"hmm" Sirius was smiling slightly now.

The 4 boys talked until well past midnight; it was probably one of the best evening Remus had, had in two months. He loved the laughing, the talking, the playing exploding snap.

"we should probably go to bed now, we've got lessons tomorrow," James yawned, after loosing the 8th game of snap.

"your right" Remus added, he hadn't realised how tired he felt.

He picked him self off the rug in the centre of the dorm, and clambered into his four poster bed, very aware that Sirius was following him with his eyes.

Eventually he could hear snores coming from Peter and James' beds, not Sirius'. He must have still been awake.

Remus yearned to go and see him.

They curtains around his bed opened.

"hello" Remus said, as he saw Sirius climb into his bed and sit and the opposite end to Remus.

"can't sleep"

"oh, family stuff?"

"sorta, but no, i just wanted to talk to you?"

Remus actually felt his heart skip a beat, what was this about, "ok?"

"who do you actually fancy? i know your going to say no one but Moony i could tell you were lying earlier"

"and are you going to tell me who you fancy?"

"i- umm-uh" Sirius stuttered.

"thats what i thought, you can keep yours a secret and i can keep mine a secret."

"right" Sirius looked him directly in eye now, "why don't you like talking about all that girl stuff?"

"i dunno" Remus knew the real answer was that he simply wasn't interested in girls, in any way more that friends at least.

"do you um-"

"do i what?" 

Did Sirius know.

"like girls, yanno"

Remus felt himself turn bright red, he couldn't lie to Sirius now, it was clearly obvious. Why else would he be blushing?

"how did you know?"

"i don't know, experience i guess"

"experience?"

"i-no i mean-i just wondered"

"oh"

"i won't tell anyone"

"thanks"

Now two people knew.

~~~~~~~~~

The marauders were sitting in their usual spot in the common room, one evening, it was the day before the hogsmeade visit. They had already had at least 5 different girls interrupt to ask Sirius to go with them.

"just say yes to one of them mate" James said

Sirius looked a bit annoyed at this, "why can't us 4 just go together, i don't need a stupid date"

"yeah i know mate, who ever this girl is she's clearly not interested."

"i'm not going to even bother going to hogsmeade" Sirius snapped, his temper had clearly been raised, "you three go"

"Sirius- you don-"James started, but Sirius cut him off.

"i don't want to go" 

And with that he stormed off up the spiral stairs that lead to their dorm.

"honestly" peter sighed.

When the morning of the hogsmeade visit arrived, Remus, Peter and James got ready in silence, not wanting to wake Sirius up.

Remus felt a terrible guilt on his shoulders, it wasn't fair to leave him alone all day, while they were having fun.

"i'll stay here" Remus whispered, "it's not fair for him to be alone."

"no he chose to do this" James replied, in an equally as hushed tone, "don't let him ruin your day"

"no it's fine, i have plenty of homework to be getting on with"

James frowned slightly.

"if your sure"

"i am"

"all right then,see you later"

With that James and Peter left, leaving Remus alone with sleeping Sirius.

He got out his copy of 'fantastic beasts and where to find them', sat himself down on his bed, and read.

It was really quite enjoyable, it was so silent and calm. He read for about an hour before Sirius woke up.

He saw the boy open the red curtains, surrounding his bed and then jump in surprise at the sight of Remus.

"what are you doing here?" His voice was croaky, from just waking up.

"i didn't want you to be sulking about that girl all day, who ever she is, so i decided to keep you company"

"you shouldn't have"

"i don't care, i wouldn't of enjoyed it knowing you were alone"

Sirius blushed. Sirius rarely blushed, only on a few rare occasions had Remus saw Sirius blush.

"thanks"

"if you get dress we can go down for breakfast"

"right ok"

Sirius began to pull off his green nightshirt. Remus tried to turn his attention back to his book; it was so hard to resist looking at the toned body in-front of him. It was so perfect in every way.

Sirius caught him looking once or twice and just raised one of his perfectly shaped eyebrows, which made heat flood Remus' cheeks.

After a minute or so Sirius sat down opposite Remus, He was now fully dressed (in muggle clothes as it was the weekend) but his hair was uncombed.

"you ready?" Remus asked,he was slightly confused, Sirius took so much pride in making sure his black locks looked just right.

Sirius handed Remus his hair brush, "will you brush my hair for me"

"uh ok"

Remus had never seen James or Peter brush Sirius' hair and he felt a sort of honour.

He began to brush through the shoulder legnth black hair, it was so soft a silky. He took his time, trying not to tug the hair to hard.

"moony"

"Sirius"

"your letter was really nice"

Remus was glad that Sirius had his back to him because his face began to look like a tomato, he was sure the other boy would be able to feel the heat radiating from him.

"oh"

Sirius turned to face him now.

"your a really good mate"

"thanks"

Sirius let out a small chuckle, "why do you look so shocked? it's just a compliment"

Remus smiled at him slightly.

Then he asked a question that had been troubled him since last night.

"last night, why did you get so upset?"

Sirius started to fiddle with his fingers in his lap.

"i don't know"

"you don't have to act tough with me, i know the real Sirius. Not the i want to be the centre of attention Sirius, the Sirius who acts like he has human feelings and doesn't pretend to be okay all the time."

"merlin Moony" a massive grin spread across his face, "you sound like Dumbledore"

They both burst out laughing.

"so?"

"i guess it's because i care for this person with all my heart yet i know they don't feel the same way, do you know how that feels?" Sirius said, his ocean blue eyes looking into Remus' hazel ones.

He knew how that felt, all too well. They way it had felt when Sirius and Amanda were dating. How it felt when Sirius talked about girl with such fondness (though Remus thought to himself he hadn't done that lately).

He sighed "yeah i do"

They rest of the day was brilliant. Remus loved having Sirius all to himself. They spent the day making to do games to do with levitation and charming different things to dance.

Remus explained to Sirius was a Tv was for Sirius' muggle studies. Sirius was fascinated by the idea of films.

In short the whole day was pure bliss.

~~~~

It was the evening before the big quidditch match between Slytherin and Gryffindor and excitement levels were running high.

Sirius and James, who were both part of the Gryffindor team , couldn't sit still for more than a second.

"stop moving around, i'm trying to complete this care of magical creatures essay and your distracting me" Remus snapped, after around 2 hours of their constant fidgeting.

"alright goody two shoes" Sirius replied, poking out his tongue.

"i'm going off to bed" he sighed, it was once again approaching the full moon and his head was pounding.

It was around midnight when Sirius joined him for one of the nightly chats, Sirius' visits had became more frequent recently (they hadn't fallen asleep together again though.)

"you alright moony"

"yeah" his head was throbbing, however much he liked Sirius sitting with him in bed, he would much rather be able to curl up and go to sleep.

"it's the moon isn't it?"

"mhm"

Remus' head was in agony now he wanted to let out a scream, he could tears prickling his eyes.

Sirius came and sat beside him, sliding under the duvet.

"it's ok to cry" the boy said, as he wrapped his arms around Remus' waist.

It was as if a warmth had spread through his body, he suddenly felt a lot calmer.

"your a good mate" Remus muttered as he fell asleep, Sirius still clinging onto him.

As Remus slept he had the most pleasant dream.

His body and another, moving rhythmically against each over. He was lost was lost on the depths of another person. Soft black hair brushing against his face.

As soon as the dream had came to an end, he woke up. His body had reacted to this dream in an unwanted way, considering that Sirius was curled up, his whole body pressing into Remus.

Oh no he thought to himself. Sirius was awake. Remus tried to push himself to the edge of the bed, so that Sirius didn't find out anything embarrassing.

Sirius raised his eyebrows, "having a good dream were you?"

Remus felt heat crawling up his neck, "what do you mean?"

"you know what i mean" Sirius had a menacing grin plastered on his face now.

Remus had no idea what to say nor what to do.

Sirius started again, "you talked in your sleep," the black haired boy chuckled, "your face moony, it's ok i'm not going to tell any one."

What had Remus said? This was so embarrassing. He wished the bed would just swallow him whole.

"you better get back to your own bed the others will be awake soon"

~~~~~~~~~~~

Remus sat with the other Gryffindors, in stands of the quidditch pitch, cheering on his friends and their team mates. 

Lily sat beside him.

"Sev said that the Slytherin team have a lot of new tactics"

"what does sniv- i mean Snape know about quidditch"

"true" lily giggled.

The crowed gave a roar as James scored a goal.

Gryffindor were way in the lead, with 200-50.

"YES GRYFFINDOR'S SEEKER HAS SEEN THE SNITCH" a yell came, from the commentator's box, "HE MAKES A DIVE AND OHHH YESS HE'S GOT IT. TAKE THAT SLYTHERIN"

Cheers burst from the 3/4 of the pitches stands. It had been a reasonably short match, so there would be plenty of time to celebrate back in the common room.

All of his aches and pains, of the approaching full moon, were forgotten as he sprinted down onto the pitch to congratulate his friends.

Back in the common room as a expected a party had began. One of the sixth years, had a muggle record player, which filled the whole common room with music.

Bottles of firewhisky were being passed round, Remus has never drank properly before. He loved the soothing sensation as it slipped down his throughout, even so he only had one bottle.

All three marauders were dancing in the middle of the common room, Remus found himself staring at Sirius.

Mary, one of Lily's friends came and sat next to him on the sofa.

"you alright Remus?"

"yeah"

He noticed that shuffled closer to his so that their thighs were pressed together, he could feel her breathe of the the side of his cheek which indicated that she was looking at him.

Remus turned to face her, there noses were almost touching, she leant in and connected there lips.

He felt her tongue slip into his mouth, it was so strange yet so...

"moony come and see thi-"

Remus broke away from the kiss.

Sirius was standing there pale in the face, looking as if he wanted to cry.

"are you ok Sirius?"

He didn't get a reply, the boy had already stormed.

"what was that about" Mary asked, nodding her head towards Sirius.

"no idea"

~~~~~

In the days following the Gryffindors' achievement, Sirius could no longer be found with the marauders.

He was gone before any of them woke up and arrived after they were all in bed. 

Remus couldn't figure out why he was being so off with them. Did he fancy Mary? Was he jealous that Remus kissed her?

As for Remus and Mary, they were nothing more than friends and they laughed about what had happened; admitting they weren't really each other's type.

It was horrible being so distant from Sirius. Yet, Remus couldn't help feeling that maybe it was a good thing and he's feelings for the boy would eventually dissolve. oh how he was wrong. The sudden withdrawal of Sirius' presence made Remus feel mad.

He wanted him so bad.

After just under month, he decided enough was enough, he had to talk to Sirius.

James had, had multiple attempts at trying to start a conversation with the sulking boy. He had, had no luck.

He tried to catch Sirius' attention in potions by coughing very loudly behind him, Sirius did not pay any attention.

He tried in defence against the dark arts, by screwing up some parchment and throwing it at the boy. Sirius, once again, didn't may any attention.

Remus had to resolve to another plan.

That night, he drew the curtains to his own bed to make it look as if he was lying in it asleep, then he went and sat on Sirius' bed.

He waited hours for Sirius to finally arrive but once he did, he wasn't to pleased to see Remus sitting on his bed, by the expression on his face.

"what are you doing?" he grunted.

"we need to talk" Remus said, staring directly at Sirius.

"about"

Sirius climbed into the bed and joined Remus, which he thought was a good sign.

"why are avoiding us?"

"i'm not" Sirius lied 

"ever since that party"

"i don't know"

"do you fancy Mary?"

Sirius looked appalled, "what? no"

"oh i just.."

"i don't like Mary in that way"

"well you went a bit funny after we kissed"

There was and awkward pause.

"did you want to?"

"what?"

"kiss her"

"no, it just happened"

Sirius looked a little happier at this; he shuffled next to Remus.

"i'm sorry"

"you should be" Remus chuckled.

Sirius laid his head on Remus' shoulder.

"if you could pick any person in the world to snog, who would you choose?"

Remus could tell Sirius was looking at him intently, without turning to face him.

He couldn't just say you, Sirius would be so uncomfortable.

"i don't know, what about you?"

Remus could practically hear Sirius' heart quicken.

"um, if i tell you promise me you won't laugh"

Remus turned to face Sirius, their faces were inches away. There was something feel comforting about it.

"i promise"

Sirius was staring directly into Remus' eyes.

Remus couldn't help himself, he closed the gaps between their faces.

It was amazing, Sirius was kissing him back. No this needs to stop, Sirius won't want this.

He pulled away from the black haired boy.

"Sirius i'm so sorry i-"

"no it's fine" Sirius was grinning.

"you what?"

"your a good kisser"

~~~~~~~~~

They did not speak of that occasion in the following weeks.

As time passed Remus stopped wondering if he'd done something he shouldn't, it wasn't like Sirius was ignoring him again.

It was Sirius' birthday and they had planned a huge party and Remus could only but hope it wouldn't end the same way the last had.

Sirius was in his element , he was the centre of attention. Girls surrounded him as he danced, though he didn't seem to show the slightest interest.

He could have anyone of them, Remus thought to himself, so why doesn't he? 

He stared at the Black haired boy, he moved so smoothly. It was mystifying. Remus could of watch him forever.

Sirius and Remus made eye contact for a fraction of a second. Remus did not look away. The black haired boy winked at him, a smirk on his face which clearly meant-what are you looking at?


	9. christmas 1975

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter  
> start to see the effects of the war

"Moony my mum said you can come to ours for Christmas this year if you want?" 

"that would be great, rather spend Christmas with you then my Dad" Remus grinned.

"your invited too, Sirius" James added

Sirius looked crest fallen, "you know they'll never let me, the Potters are 'blood traitors'"

They climbed through the portrait hole into the common room.

It was their lunch break and they had decided they should start planning their Christmas prank.

"what lesson do we have next?" Peter said.

"Potions" Remus sighed. 

He hated potions, it was the only lesson he wished he could skip.

"should we bunk it" Sirius groaned.

"no" James, sounded very harsh.

"alright, alright" 

Sirius held his hands above his head, grinning.

They spent the remainder of lunch discussing how to create total mayhem in the castle.

As they walked off to potions, Sirius had to run back to the common room as he had somehow forgotten his whole bag.

James,Peter and Remus walked into the drowsy dungeon, where half the class were already seated.  
James and Peter took a table together, meaning that Sirius and Remus would have to share.

That was definitely one way of making the most boring lesson, exciting.

"so" Professor Slughorn started, "today we are going to be learning how to brew an extremely complicated potion, amortentia. would anyone care to explain what it is?"

A Slytherin at the front of the class shot her hand up, "a love potion, it smells like the things we are most attracted to."

"very right, 3 points to Slytherin. Now you will be brewing this potion with the person you are seated with, feel free to start any time from now?"

Remus started to measure and pour out the ingredients, he was working alone. Where was Sirius? He better not have bunked and left Remus to do all the hard work.

As the potion started to form, Remus started to smell a very familiar sent. Sirius. It made him feel very calm and safe. Protected.

The dungeon door burst open and Sirius burst in and walked over to join Remus. He looked at Remus and frowned slightly.

"what's up?" Remus questioned.

"have done something to yourself?"

what kind of question was that.

"what?"

"the whole class, it smells of you."

Remus' heart skipped a beat. How would he tell Sirius? It would be so embarrassing for him. Remus fought now not to blush or even laugh.

"we are making amortentia"

"what's that?" Sirius asked, he looked extremely confused.

"a love potion"

"yeah and? that's not what i asked you."

Remus let out a nervous laugh, "amortentia smells of what we are attracted to"

Sirius eyes widened, he opened his mouth to speak but no words came.

They looked at each other for a few seconds before Sirius finally spoke.

"what do you smell?"

Remus felt his heart beat faster, "none of your business."

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"well if you know what i smell, you, why can't i know what you smell?"

Remus ignored his question.

"so you attracted to me?"

"i mean, what's not to be attracted to?" Sirius grinned, he didn't look embarrassed in the slightest.

"true, i am extremely handsome" Remus said, sarcastically.

He wasn't showing it but Remus was over-joyed. He couldn't explain to himself, why he didn't just admit his feelings to Sirius there and then?

Deep down he did know, it would never work between them. Remus was a werewolf, he was dangerous.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

One week later they were taking the Hogwarts express back to kings cross. Remus was delighted to know that he was going to be staying with James for the holiday.

How ever he started to feel a bit down hearted, when he saw the look on Sirius' face, as they approached the station.

Mrs Potter met him and James ,on platform 9 3/4 and apparated them to the potters'.

The weeks that followed were spent in a blur of chess, tinsel, mince pies and presents. He had never had such a good Christmas.

It was the day after boxing day, when a silvery phoenix flew into the living room. 

The bird opened it's mouth; much to Remus' surprise, Dumbledoor's voice protruded.

"important news, attacks, be there soon"

Mrs Potter stared blankly for a second, before speaking.

"you two better get to bed."

"is it about the war?" James asked.

"yes, i'm afraid things may begin to get difficult, nothing for you boys to worry about just yet"

James and Remus, reluctantly made their way up stairs. They both longed to find out what had happened.

There wishes came true, when the next day's issue of the daily profit arrived. 

FAMILY, OF FOUR, KILLED  
on the night of the 27th December, a family were tortured and killed by a group of unidentified wizards.

The family were muggles, with the exception of there 10 year old daughter, who was going to attend Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardary next year.

After the attack a strange 'mark' was conjured above the location, of which the attacks took place.

The ministry assure us that they are doing the best they can to track down the wizards responsible.


	10. fourth year:close calls and birthdays

They made their return to Hogwarts, the following week. Remus was overwhelmed with relief at the sight of Sirius.

Lily joined them in their compartment this time, which was a first.

"so how was your Christmas, Remus?" she asked, as she sat down next to him.

"good, you?" 

"yes fine thanks, my sister was being her usual self"

Remus knew from past conversations that Petunia had a big issue with 'their sort'.

"your sister, do you not get along?" James asked looking concerned.

"long story"

At that moment, a Ravenclaw girl with long golden hair, who none of the marauders had so much se noticed before, opened their compartment door.

she blushed slightly, seeing all 5 faces turn to her.

"Lupin, can i have a word?" she asked, nodding her head in the direction of the door. 

Remus followed the girl.

"so um i was thinking" she stammered, "would you like to go to hogsmeade together sometime"

He had no clue what to do. He didn't want to hurt her feelings but he really didn't want to go.

"sorry but i don't think i can"

"oh ok" she looked at the floor shyly, "see you around then"

With that Remus went back into the compartment.  
4 Pairs of eyes stared at him.

"what did she want?" Sirius asked.

"to go to hogsmeade with me" Remus chuckled

lily spoke next, "and?"

"i said no"

"why?" Peter's mouth was full of sweets.

Lily giggled, "Remus already has his eye on someone"

Remus looked out the window,at the hilly surroundings, to avoid the eyes staring at him.

"tell us who?" James grinned, kicking Remus' shin.

"nope"

"oh, come on, who is she?" 

"he" Remus corrected.

James widened his eyes slightly.

Peter took a large gulp of sweets.

Sirius gave Remus a shy smile, probably because he already knew.

Why had he said that? It just slipped out. 

Sirius broke the silence, "who's he then?"

"not saying"

Never in a million years would he have said 'you' in front of the others. 

But maybe things were different now, after all Sirius had smelt Remus in the amortentia. Though did that really mean anything? Sirius might of just liked the scent of Remus.  
~~~~~~~

They had already been at Hogwarts a week, the affects of the war had become more noticeable.

Slytherins walked around the school as if they owned the place, hexing and jinxing anyone they could get alone.

All muggle-borns walked around in groups, out of fear.

If it weren't for his friends and 4 essays he had already been set, Remus may have been worried about the unpleasant difference in the atmosphere.

The next hogsmeade visit was going to take place on February 14th, valentines day.

As expected, practically every 3rd, 4th and 5th year girl, had asked Sirius. He had shown no interest, which was also expected as he never did.

James had, had a fair few girls ask him as well but of course if he couldn't have lily Evans, he didn't want anyone.

Even Remus had girls ask him. He had, had to politely decline.

Remus was sitting in the library, alone ,when he heard someone sit down next to him.

He assumed it must have been lily, so he was shocked to look up and see Sirius.

He hadn't been alone with Sirius since the new term had began, in all truth he had been avoiding him slightly

"what are doing here?" he asked, looking back at his book. Sirius never came to the library.

"James is in detention for using the bat bogey hex on snivellous, Pete is playing chess against some first year and i'm bored "

"so you thought you'd come and interrupt my peaceful study session?"

"yep" 

It fell silent for a second before Sirius spoke again, "going to hogsmeade with anyone?"

"no"

"aw poor moony" he sniggered.

Remus looked up from his book, at Sirius, "are you then?"

"no" He shuffled his chair slightly closer to Remus.

They didn't speak for a bit; Remus continued to study.

He could feel Sirius looking at him, "maybe me and you could do something"

"what?" Remus snapped his head up so quickly hid neck jolted.

"on valentines, as friends,just me and you"

"uh ok" 

His heart was beating extremely fast now. yes it was only as friends but he couldn't be more excited.

"we can tell the other two that we both have dates, so they won't bother us"

Remus couldn't help but let a grin form on his face.

"that sounds great"

~~~~~~~~~

Valentines finally arrived. Remus had barely been able to sleep he was so excited. He had no clue what they were actually going to spend the day doing but whatever it was would be great.

When Remus had woken up, Sirius was nowhere to be found.

Remus got up straight away and got dressed into some muggle jeans and t-shirt. He brushed his teeth in the bathroom, that was connected to the 4 boys' dorm. As he looked into the small mirror, he became awfully aware of how much the scar on his face stood out, how rumpled his top looked and the dark circles under his eyes. There was nothing his could do about that now though.

He had agreed to meet Sirius at 11 o'clock, which it was fast approaching.

The anticipation consumed him, he made his way down the spiral stair case that lead to the common room, practically running. Remus hadn't been this excited in a long time.

Sitting in one of the beaten down, squishy armchairs, was a boy. The boy was wearing tight black jeans, a black t-shirt with a band name along the chest and a leather jacket. Remus had to practically hold his jaw up, Sirius looked.. Well there were no words.

Finally noticing Remus' presence Sirius spoke, "there you are"

"where are we going?"

"it's a surprise"

He was lead by Sirius down a few flights of stairs, before they came to a painting of a fruit bowl. Sirius tickled the pear, which resulted in the painting to swing forward revealing a huge kitchen.

Sitting on one of the long tables was a basket stuffed with different foods.

"i thought we could have a picnic" Sirius said, picking up the basket.

Remus was shocked at the amount of thought Sirius had put into this.

"where?"

"astronomy tower" Sirius didn't even hesitate, "no one will be there, i go there sometimes to be alone"

They made their way up to the astronomy town, as Sirius had said, it was empty of people. The view was amazing, they could see the surrounding area for miles.

The two boys sat opposite each other on the old wooden floor; Sirius unpacked the basket. It was full of Remus' favourite food: chocolates, cakes, fruits , sandwiches.

They happily tucked into the food.

"how did you get all this?" Remus asked, gesturing to the food.

"house elves love to serve, when i asked they were eager to please" 

Both of them sat for a while, eating the food and admiring the view. After a while, Remus noticed that Sirius had moved quite a lot closer to him, there knees were touching.

"good first date isn't it?" Sirius said, suddenly.

"date?"

"well yeah, i knew if i said it was you wouldn't come so-"

This confirmed it Sirius did feel the same way, why hadn't seen it before. Remus had been so naive.

"oh i don't know, i might have"

Sirius grinned widely, he looked overjoyed, "i thought you wouldn't because of this other boy you like"

Remus leant forward and kissed Sirius hard on the lips, he felt the other boys teeth clash against his own. He moved his face to Sirius' neck kissing it vigorously. His teeth kept catching Sirius' perfect skin. A hand slipped onto the side of his face pulling it up to Sirius' lips again. He never wanted this moment to end.

Eventually he pulled away. Pink and purplish marks had begin to form on Sirius' neck.

"oh my god i'm so sorry" He said, looking at the other boys neck.

"oh shut up moony, or i'll have to kiss you again"

They sat in silence for a few long minutes, time  
had flown by and students were returning from hogsmeade.

"we better get back"

"Moony"

"yes"

"your a good kisser"

They both chuckled, before making their way back to the common room.  
~~~~~~  
It was the evening of Valentines and the 4 marauders were getting ready for bed. As usual Remus shut himself in the bathroom to get change, none of the marauders had ever seen the scars that stretched across his upper body.

The fact that one day someone would inevitably want him to take, at least, his top off gave him a pang of anxiety.

He was pulling on his night shirt when he heard a shout from the dorm, coming from James "Sirius Orion Black, what the bloody hell is that?"

Remus swung the bathroom door open, to see what was going down.

James was pointing at the marks on Sirius' exposed neck. Sirius was smirking, staring up at James.

"who gave you them?"

Sirius glanced momentarily at Remus, who felt as if he was glued to the spot- begging he wasn't turning red. why he was also smirking he didn't know. All he knew, was that he was secretly proud, yet at the same time guilt was building up in the pit of his stomach.

"ask me no questions,I'll tell you no lies"

Sirius through Remus a quick wink.

James was looking at the Black haired boy, a look of questioning in his eyes, "better not have been lily"

"nope definitely not"

"oh come on give us a hint?"

"they are extremely good looking"

Remus went over to his bed and buried his head in a book, that he was not actually reading, to cover the happiness painted on his face.

"sounds like lily to me"

"of course it does to you James" Sirius drawled.

"i need another hint?"

"he's really nice"

James took a sharp intake of breathe, before releasing it slowly.

Peter,who hadn't even been paying attention, snapped his head up.

Remus hadn't expected that, he wasn't sure why?

"your gay?"

"yep"

Remus really hadn't expected that.

"that explains a lot to be fair" James chuckled, "good for you, still want to know who is responsible for that though."

He could feel Sirius' eyes pierce him for a second, "he doesn't want anyone knowing and i have to respect his choices."

"of course mate, so is he like your boyfriend?"

Remus buried his head even further into the book.

"no" Sirius paused for a second, "not yet"

This caused Remus to choke on his breathe. James turned swiftly to check on him. Once he was sure Remus wasn't about to suffocate, he suggested they should probably get to bed.

The red curtains surrounding him,in his bed, created a safe atmosphere. Lying there awake, he thought of what had just happened. His mind was so full:

1.Sirius had taken him on a date

2.Sirius was acting like he actually wanted to date him.

3.Sirius was gay

4\. what was that Amanda thing then?

5\. why was he concerned about that? It happened a year ago

6\. He loved Sirius Bloody Black

Little did he know , that last thought would reoccur many at time. He also didn't know, that at some point in his life this thought would make him hate himself, more than he would ever be able to imagine.

~~~~~~~~~

By the end of February nothing had changed, the marauders were still causing havoc in the school, Remus was studying and spending long periods of time in the library. So everything was perfect.

Apart from the gut wrenching desire Remus had every time, he walked into the room. He often found himself day dreaming. Most embarrassingly, he had found that dreams of him and Sirius doing certain desirable things, had became more frequent. 

He longed for Sirius every moment of the day.

James and Sirius came bursting into the dorm room, just as Remus was was taking off his school shirt. He gasped in shock, he was very self conscious of the scars clothing usually covered.

James span around, as to not look at Remus, "sorry mate, we didn't realise."

Sirius however was still facing Remus, which made him feel even more self conscious. The boys face was expressionless, though his eyes had widened slightly. Remus caught his eye and gave Sirius a look to say 'are you finished staring?'. Sirius smirked slightly, before turning away, " sorry"

"it's ok" Remus said, although he wanted to hide, "where's Pete?"

Sirius gave a snort of laughter, "just happened to get caught at the site of 50 dung bombs going off"

"you can turn back around now" Remus had finished pulling on his pyjamas.

"i feel a bit bad for him, it's past curfew as well so that's at least 2 weeks detention" James said, trying to suppress a smile.

Peter eventually joined them, he had earned himself 2 weeks detention as James had expected. They spent the rest of the evening chatting away merrily and planning future escapades.

At almost 2 in the morning Peter gave a loud yawn; James suggested they should all go to sleep (no one ever questioned James- not even Sirius). Just as they were getting ready for bed Sirius gave Remus a quick glance. Sure enough he had interpreted the glance correctly and heard soft footsteps approach his bed, soon after his had arrived in it.

Sirius crawled in to lay next to Remus but not daring to pull the covers over himself, "sonoro quiescis". Sirius cast the silencing spell so their voices wouldn't wake their dorm mates up.

Remus felt the boy at his side roll over to face him, he didn't dare do the same.

"Remus" 

"Sirius"

"do you have a scar from the bite?" Sirius asked tentatively, "i know you don't like talking about it but-"

"i do"

"where?"

"my hip" He felt Sirius' eyes focus in the exact spot a wide pair of jaws had clenched down all those years ago.

"can i- can i see?"

Remus felt slightly unsure about this, all the same he sat up (closely followed by Sirius) and slid his pyjama bottoms down his hip slightly. The boy looked at in awe, he stretched out a hand and ran his finger along the indentations in the skin. This took Remus, slightly, by surprise.

"it's beautiful"

Remus snorted, "very funny"

Sirius looked him directly in the eyes, "everything about you is beautiful".

Remus re-clothed his hip, before looking away, trying to disguise the redness of his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

notes: quick POV from Sirius.

~~~~~~~~~~

Him and James were making a escape from the scene of their latest prank. 

"i can't believe, we escaped" He exclaimed, as the pair made their way up the stair case-to their dorm.

"poor Peter"

"It will only be a detention."

They both burst into the dorm, to find a very shocked looking Moony, who had just taken his top off. James spun around quickly, apologising. They both knew how Remus avoided being in situations like this, at all costs.

However much Sirius didn't want to make the fair haired boy uncomfortable, he couldn't seem to peel his eyes away from him. He was so- so-

Remus' hazel eyes caught his own, making his stomach turn slightly. This had happened a lot recently, whenever the boy standing in front of him was around. All he wanted that moment was to close to the body he so admired.

Eventually he found it within himself to look away. One day he thought to himself one day i'll tell him, i'll be able to tell him how gorgeous he is.

~~~~~~~~~~

"happy birthday Moony" The three boys, who were surrounding his bed (birthday tradition) chanted in unison.

"come on we've got lots to do" Sirius said, he couldn't stand still.

Remus rolled over feeling half asleep, "at least it's not the middle of the night this time"

"I'll go and collect you first birthday surprise" James said.

"you won't be able to carry it all by yourself" Sirius frowned.

"too true, Pete will you come and help me?"

It was weird how often Sirius and Remus seemed to be left alone these days; Remus couldn't help feeling happy about it.

He jumped out of bed, the excitement now rushing over him. Then without even thinking about Sirius being in the room he began to change into muggle clothes (he had been extremely lucky to have his birthday fall on a weekend).

"Moony"

"yes"

"have i ever told you that your really fucking handsome"

"you what?"

Sirius grinned and then winked.

Remus didn't speak, he had nothing to say. He longed to say it back but something was holding him back.

At that moment James and peter re-entered, the dorm, carrying arm fulls of food.

"your birthday breakfast"

~~~~~~~

"have you got the map?" James said, as they made their way through the halls under the invisibility cloak.

"yes" Peter responded,pulling out a large folded piece of parchment.

"we still haven't thought of nicknames for you three yet to put on there"

"your right James should be Jamey wamey and Pete, itty bitty petey wetey"

James and Peter both gave sarcastic laughs. They stood beside the one-eyed, humped-backed, witch statue; with a tap of Sirius' wand a passage way revealed itself.

Remus frowned, "what we going to hogsmeade for?"

"hogshead, to celebrate" 

"right,ok" Remus wasn't sure how sensible this was, sensible thoughts weren't really the other boys' forte.

All of them made there way through the dark tunnel. The smell of damp flooded Remus' nostrils.

"when my kid come to Hogwarts, they're gonna know all the secrets passages off by heart" James exclaimed.

"i call godfather" Sirius said.

"would that be yours and lily's child?" Remus sniggered.

"shut up"

They were now entering the Hogshead, which is a place they would usually avoid (you could find some very interesting people in the hogshead.)

"four fire whiskeys please" Sirius asked the hooded Bar tender, who didn't hesitate to serve. He couldn't care less that they were underage.

None of them had ever tried fire-whisky before and it was safe to say after 2 bottles it was taking an affect. This didn't discourage Sirius, unlike the others.

Hours passed, they were in the middle of a conversation about the best quidditch team, when Sirius suddenly turned very pale.

"i'm gonna be sick" He ran off to the Mens'.

"do you think he'll be alright?" Remus asked 

"yeah" James replied, in an offhanded way.

Remus thought it was best he went to check up on hie friend. "i'll make sure he's ok and then we can go back to school". He was surprised how normal he felt.

In the toilets he saw Sirius' figure crouching over the basin.

"you ok?"

"mhm" 

Sirius looked up at him and gave him a weak smile, he looked pale and clammy. Remus crouched beside him and wrapped an arm around Sirius, who was shivering slightly.

"reckon i must look a mess"

"your right" Remus teased.

Sirius bent over the sink again; Remus held his hair back. His lovely ,silky, black hair.

"sorry"

"no it's fine, i want to help"

"how touching" Sirius laughed.


	11. The beginning

"so how's things with you and Sirius?"

Remus snapped his head up, neither him and lily had talked in the last hour as they were consumed by their studying for the upcoming exams.

"what?"

"you and you crush" she grinned.

"umm nothings changed if thats what you mean?"

"really?"

"yes" what was lily on about?

"oh well, i keep catching him looking at you"

"and?"

Lily shrugged, "maybe he feels the same way"

Deep down Remus knew Sirius did, in fact, feel the same way but he was scared. Scared of the future. Scared of consequences. People still didn't quite understand. They would be so judged.

"i wish" 

"oh Remus i forgot to ask" lily said, looking back down at her herbolagy essay, "who was did you spend valentines with?"

"no one"

"well when i came looking for you, James said you were on a date" 

"well um, you don't no them"

Lily raised her eyebrows.

"alright, alright" you couldn't fool Lily, "i was with Sirius"

She gasped "a date?"

"no" 

He wasn't quite sure why he was lying; he knew fully well what Sirius had called it. Remus looked up at the clock of the wall, it was the full moon tonight. He needed to go to Madam Pomfery, so she could accompany him to the shack.

"sorry lily i have to go now, it's that day , you know?"

"oh yes of course, i hope it goes okay"

~~~~~~~

The end if year exams had began; all four marauders had grown used to them by now so it didn't cause much of a strain. They were glad for it, otherwise they may not if been able to up hold tradition with their end of year prank.

"i can't wait to see the look on Snivly's face" Sirius sniggered, as they walked out of herbolagy.

"i'm not getting caught,i have my reputation to sustain" Remus added.

"of course you do Moony" The black haired boy reached his arm up and ruffled Remus' hair, he had to stretch quite a bit due to the height difference.

Peter was ringing his hand nervously, "do you think the potions exams going to be alright?"

"don't worry Pete, how hard can it be? James said.

A red headed girl was bounding towards them, "hey Remus, you ok?"

"yeah, you?"

"hello Evans"

"Potter," she rolled her eyes and focused on Remus, "how are the exams going?"

"good, i hope"

"will i see you in the library later?"

"ye-"

"Moony" Sirius interfered, "we have plans later"

He had forgotten they were planning to steal some bubotubers (for there prank) from green house 2. Of course Lily didn't know this. She raised her eye brows, clearly getting the complete wrong end of the stick. Her bright green eyes darted between him and Sirius.

Remus shook his head slightly at her trying to indicate that she was wrong.

"oh yeah, sorry lily"

~~~~~~

It was the big day, the finale of a year well spent at Hogwarts. Anticipation filled the air. They were planning to take action as the Slytherins and everyone else for that matter, were having lunch meaning they would be less likely to be caught.

Remus also noticed Sirius kept giving him anxious looks, which he returned with confused ones. He had no time to ponder on this,there was so much to prepare.

When lunch finally came around, the 4 boys snuck off to the corridor of Slytherin's common room. They aligned bubotubers along the entrance, before casting a spell, of which made them all invisible. This was in hopes that unsuspecting Slytherins would step on them, causing them to explode with pus.

But it was not meant to be. As they began to make there way down the corridor they heard bang from behind them, as pus flew into the air. Then there was a yell. A yell coming from Filch, "if i catch who ever is responsible for this racket i will-"

The boys all glanced at each over before running. Peter and James in one direction, Sirius and Remus in another. Sirius swung open a door to an empty classroom and pulled Remus in.

"we better stay in here until lunch is over" Sirius said, breathing heavily.

"what happened?"

"no idea, they shouldn't of done that"

They sat in silence for a bit, until boredom took over them.

"let's play truth or dare" Sirius suggested.

"sure" Remus was willing to do anything that was mildly entertaining.

"ok, truth or dare?"

"truth" what was the worst Sirius could ask after all?

"how did you know you liked boys?"

Remus hesitated for a second, "because i had a massive crush on one"

"right" 

"truth or dare"

"dare" 

"hmm" Remus thought hard, to think of the perfect thing, "i dare you to kiss the person you most want to kiss"

He smirked slightly after he said this, that was the perfect thing to say. In fact he was very proud of himself for doing so. He knew exactly who Sirius wanted to kiss.

Sirius stepped close to him then connected their lips. Remus ran his hands through the other boys hair ,as their tongues darted around in each other's mouths Sirius was fisting the material of Remus robes.

Remus felt Sirius' weight push him towars a near by desk. His knees hit it, which made his topple backward onto it. They both pulled apart, breathing quickly. Sirius climbed onto the desk, straddling Remus. He bent down to kiss Remus' neck.

Remus felt himself stiffen, he blushed feeling embarrassed. Voices began to fill the corridors outside, which made him sit up quickly.

"we-uh- we better go" He stuttered.

"yeah your right" Sirius smirked, looking at him.

The both stood up re-adjusting their robes and flattening their hair. Remus wished that they could have carried on, gone the extra step. 

He was about to leave to classroom,when he felt a hand on his arm.

"Moony" 

"yes"

"you know, i would really like to date you" Sirius was grinning, looking up at Remus.

"i would like to date you too" he tried to not sound to excited, which was hard when his insides were screaming.

Sirius threw his arms around him and whispered into his chest, "your finally mine Moony"

"one thing" Remus added.

Sirius looked up, arm still wrapped around Remus, "anything"

"i don't want James or anyone to know just yet, is that ok?"

"yes of course, me neither"   
~~~~~

It was their last night at Hogwarts. Remus could barely sleep, his head was so full of thoughts. Sirius Black his boyfriend!

Footsteps approached his bed. Sirius climbed in and slipped under the covers, before wrapping his arms around Remus. This is all Remus would need to ever make him happy.

"you ok?" Sirius whispered.

"yes" 

Sirius lifted his head up to place a quick kiss on Remus' lips.

"do you want to go on an adventure?"

"i'm not getting into trouble"

"i was thinking of maybe going to the Prefects bathroom" clearly seeing the uncertain look on Remus' face, Sirius added, "just for a bath"

"how will we get in?"

"i have my ways"

Sirius grabbed his hand and interlaced their fingers, before tugging him to stand up. They walked quietly,hand in hand,out the dorm and through the halls. when they came to the bathroom's entrance, Sirius said the password so that they could enter.

They ran the bath, which was more like a pool. Sirius stripped down to his boxers, Remus however stood there in his Pyjamas, feeling shy. He was also admiring the view. Sirius met his eye, "you don't have to be shy but i can look away if you want?"

Remus considered, "no it's fine."

He removed his clothes so that he too was just wearing his boxers. Both of the slid into the water with ease. It was so relaxing, the scent of lavender  
in the air, watching Sirius swim around.

After a lap of the pool Sirius came and sat next to him, a huge grin on his face. Sirius adjusted himself so that their thighs were squashed together.

"Moony, how long did you fancy me?" He smirked.

Remus felt suddenly very flushed, "since last year"

Sirius leant forwards to kissed him, then climbed onto Remus' lap, still facing him. Their bare skin pressed against each other . The kiss began to deepen, their bodies began to move against each over. Sirius hips pushed hard into Remus'.

Remus let out a small gasp of pleasure. Sirius pulled his head away ,grinning, hands still on Remus' face. Remus felt so embarrassed so he suggested they get back to the dormitory, he felt snogging was enough for the moment.


	12. Summer-deserve the moon 1975

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> possible TW: Sirius mentions past abuse from his family.

As usual they sat in the same compartment on the Hogwarts express, there was no other way of travelling to and from their school, in their opinion.

Sirius had his legs propped up on Remus' lap (this was the most they'd get away with.) Remus really couldn't believe it, in the past 24 hours his life had improved dramatically.

"i can't believe our OWLs are next year" James said.

Remus sighed, "great, even more studying"

"how could you possibly spend anymore time studying? It's all you ever do" Sirius said, yawning.

"true"

"i have a feeling Evans will finally say yes, what do you think?"

"i think you should move on mate" Remus chuckled.

"i have a really good feeling about it"

"you've had a good feeling about it the past 5 years" Peter added.

The train pulled into platform 9/3 and they all departed the train. Sirius had gone silent and pale, he was going have to go back to his horrible family.  
Remus felt a chill consume his body and he saw the stern face of Walburga Black. James had always told Sirius that one day he'd be able to escape, Remus could only but hope this was true.  
~~~~~

Dear Moony,

I hope your summer is going okay.  
Mum and Dad said they would love to be able to invite you but they are a bit to busy doing stuff for Dumbledoor - to do with the war.

I haven't heard much from Sirius, but i think he's ok. His family are all in with 'Dark Lord' , but obviously being the 'blood traitor' he is they won't tell him anything. He feels really guilty that he can't do anything about it. 

Anyway i'm sure he'll tell you. 

James

Dear James,

Yeah summers going okay, not really been up to much. It's fine about your parents being to busy, it's good that they are helping out to win this war.

See you soon,

Moony

Dear Moony,

How's your summer going? I wish i could be with you, i really miss you. Maybe i could sneak out to see you. I still look at the moon and think of you- how soppy? haha

Anyway James has probably told you all about my family. I promise you nothing to bad has happened, no need to worry about me. There's many other people to be worried about. 

I'm still hopeful that my 'dear brother' isn't going to become one of these Voldemort supporters, but i'm not sure yet. He's too young anyway, at the moment.

Can't wait to see you,

Sirius xx

Dear Sirius,

I miss you too, i hate that you have to spend the summer with those people. I hope they aren't treating you to bad. 

I wish i could be with you, one day you'll escape them i promise. Please don’t sneak out see me,as much as i would love it, i don’t want you getting into trouble. Not really sure what else to say.

Can't wait to see you,

Moony xx

It felt great to sign off the letter like that.

He was quite surprised when he hadn't a received a letter from Peter but didn't really care.

He tucked the letter's into his school trunk, and pulled a cigarette out of the crumpled cardboard boxes in his pocket. That was one knew change, he had picked up smoking. The first time, he had spluttered after inhaling, but now he found it soothing, especially when it was approaching the full moon.

His mother wasn't very fond on him doing so but didn't pick him up on it too much. 

Remus spent his summer moping outside often reading stuff for school, smoking or just sitting. Imagining what it would be like if he was with one of his friends was painful, he would be having a much better time.  
~~~~~~~~  
Soon enough, the time came when he was able to return to Hogwarts. He and lily entered the compartment in which Peter, James and Sirius were sitting.

When Remus saw Sirius he did a double take, over the summer had grew even more gorgeous (if that was possible.) He was staring right at Remus grinning; Remus was very aware that he too had change over the summer and could tell Sirius was taking in his appearance.

Remus went and sat next to him, lily on his other side. James was gaping at her; she raised an eyebrow at him, "are you all right there James?"

"James now is it? Not potter?" he smirked.

"nope still same old, annoying, Potter" She said, grinning.

Sirius was still looking at Remus, Remus turned to face him. This was something he wished he hadn't done, as he had and overwhelming urge to kiss him.  
He wished they were alone so they could do so.None of the others knew about them, meaning kissing was off the limits.

Sirius leant forward and whispered, "you look good." As he pulled away his lips brushed Remus' ear, he had to fight not to blush. He longed for the moment when they would finally be alone.

Lily gasped "oh my god, Remus we need to be in the prefects carriage."

"Moony, a prefect!" James exclaimed.

"This gives us permission to tease you for eternity" Sirius, added.

Remus rolled his eyes, "see you at the feast"

~~~~~~~

Later that night Sirius crept over to Remus' bed. Remus had been tormented for his knew role as prefect for the past few hours, he didn't care it was all fun and games. Anyway his mind had been focused fully on Sirius and when they'd finally be alone. Now was this time.

Sirius crawled into the bed and buried his head into Remus' chest, "i've missed you so much"

"i missed you too" Remus said, before placing a kiss on the other boys head.

"i'm going to sleep right here"

"Sirius you can't, James and Peter they-"

Sirius muttered a spell, "they can't open the curtains, i'm sure it will be fine, anyway i'm not moving."

Remus chuckled fondly. 

"Sirius" he said, a little more seriously now, "how were your family? They didn't hurt you or anything?"

He felt Sirius hold his breathe for a second, "no, they barely payed attention to me. Too busy with strange meetings. I mean they've hurt me in the past, physically but there was none of that."

Remus tightened his arm around him, "sorry"

"sorry?"

"sorry, you have to put up with them, you deserve the world."

"no, i deserve the moon" Sirius untucked his head from Remus' chest and their eyes met, "and right now, i've got that."


End file.
